Seven Old Ladies

Chorus:
Oh dear what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies locked in the lavatory
They were there from Sunday to Saturday
Nobody knew they were there

They said they were going to chat with the Vicar
They went in together they thought it was quicker
The lavatory door was a bit of a sticker
And the Vicar had tea alone

The first was a wife of the Deacon of Dover
Always was known as a bit of a rover
She passed out in the ladies napkin disposal
And nobody knew they were there

The next old lady was dear Mrs. Bickles
Found herself in a bit of a pickle
Locked out of the stalls for she hadn't a nickel
And nobody knew they were there

The next was the Bishop of Chichester's daughter
She couldn't wait so she used the basin
Unaware it was the basin a pope had washed his face in
And nobody knew they were there

The next old lady was Abigail Humphery
Who settled in and made herself comfy
Tried to get up but couldn't get her bum free
And nobody knew they were there

The next old lady was Elizibeth Spender
Was doing all right 'til her vagrant suspender
Got all twisted up in her feminine gender
And nobody knew they were there

The last was a lady named Jennifer Tripp
She couldn't wait, couldn't wait to get started
But when she sat down she only farted
And nobody knew they were there